The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells

Things I knew about this book going in:
1) I should have read it a long time ago.
2) Time travel.
3) Something about a morlock.

Strangely, there's not actually much more to the story than that! There is, obviously, a time machine, and a Time Traveller, as he is called. And it's a frame story, so there's a narrator who has dinner with the Time Traveller and hears his stories and then recounts them to us, which is always a good time. And so through our narrator we learn about how time travel theoretically works (just moving really really fast through time, basically) and then later how the Time Traveller is now called Late for Dinner and also managed to travel to the year 802701. That is a big number, dudes.

In the future there are some perfect-ish people who are also totes lazy and boring, and also some terrifying people-ish creatures, the aforementioned Morlocks, who are industrious enough to steal Mr. for Dinner's time machine. Social commentary ensues, Mr. for Dinner gets his time machine back, he goes home, no one believes him, and then he and his machine disappear. The end!

I'm sure that when this book came out in 1895, people were like, holy moly this Herbert fellow is a genius and also possibly insane! But unfortunately here in 2011, I've read one or two books that involve time travel and so I already had that part down and the rest of the book had to carry itself, which it didn't do terribly well. So, as a novella experience, not so great.

But I totally enjoyed the book on its historical merits of introducing time travel (I mean, travelling really fast through time is a genius idea) and the intriguing future that Wells devises. It's not exactly a dystopian future, since there's no real sense of utopia, but it's obviously not the future to which Victorian gentlemen aspired and those Morlocks are pretty creepy. I also like the Time Traveller's nods toward literary convention — he mentions once that in a novel the author could tell you all the intricacies of society, but he was a little too busy experiencing the world, thanks, and while sometimes that can be really annoying, Wells does it just fine.

My only problem with the story is that I'm pretty sure that the Time Traveller should have gotten his time machine stuck somewhere along his travels, considering his explanation of how it works, but I suppose I can forgive Mr. Wells, just this once.

Recommendation: For people who like to know where their contemporary literature came from, also future time travellers (or past time travellers?).

Rating: 7/10

How the Hippies Saved Physics, by David Kaiser

Hey, look, I finally finished this book, first mentioned on the blog back at the end of July. I had to return the book pictured, but then found the audio version on OverDrive, so I couldn't help but listen, right?

Right.

Okay, so. First of all, this book is not exactly about how hippies saved physics. The title is based off of some study called How the Irish Saved Civilization, and the hyperbole is intentional, so I guess I'll let it slide. It is about hippies, and about hippies doing physics, and about hippies doing really weird things with physics, so if you're into that sort of thing you won't be disappointed.

On the actual surviving physics side of things, there's a lot of info in the book about quantum physics and how absolutely insane it is, with entangled particles and the double slit experiment and quantum encryption and of course Schrödinger's cat, which is probably still causing (and not causing) Schrödinger endless amounts of frustration.

I majored in physics, so mostly in this part I was like yeah yeah whatever none of this is really new or interesting.

BUT THEN.

Soooooo it turns out that more than one physicist in the 60s spent some time doing research into extrasensory perception, on the government's dime. And then some more on other people's dimes. And that is really the selling point of this book for me, because WHAT. Apparently there were some physics dudes and chicks totally into that Uri Gellar guy and other people who claimed to be able to see the future or see the other side of a playing card or whatever, and the U.S. government was like, well, we'd better play it safe and pour some money into this research just in case the Ruskies get there first. Fantastic! And even when said government stopped pouring money in and most people were like, eh, whatever, probably not, there were still physicists who were like, but MAYBE.

And I am a sucker for a crazy person story, so I liked this part of the book, and the part where Kaiser goes off about one of the non-government money-pouring people who totally turned out to be a murderer. WHAT.

Also, I love the guy who narrates the audiobook (he also did The Disappearing Spoon), whose delightful voice got me through all the boring parts just fine. I totally want to go find a list of his work and see if he's done any other books I'm interested in reading.

Recommendation: For those who need some crazy science-related anecdotes to throw around at parties.

Rating: 7/10

Wreck the Halls, by Jen Yates

Hee hee hee hee hee! I love Cake Wrecks, and also Cake Wrecks, and really just cake wrecks in general. I love stopping by the cakes on display at Publix and hoping one of them might be terrible enough to go on the internet, but also hoping that none of them are.

Unlike the previous general-wrecks book, this one is particularly focused on the end-of-year holidays. And Star Wars. Obviously. There are phallic poo-turkeys and a Super Bowel cake, really terrifying Santas and gingerbread men and Care Bears, and the last cake on this page that made a finals-addled husband of mine practically pee his pants laughing. It's not that funny, but law school is apparently very difficult.

There's also the patented Jen Yates patter, which here includes some re-written Christmas carols and several pun-laden paragraphs, which I would reproduce for you here except I do want to you keep reading my blog. Let's just say there's some fantastic wordplay involving bread and also poo, because this woman cannot stop talking about it.

Someday I will get that coffee table and then I will purchase this and its predecessor and any future Cake Wrecks books and scare people away from my home with them. And you should, too.

Rating: 8/10

Geek Girls Unite, by Leslie Simon

Hokay. So. I mentioned in my last post that I had picked this book up for no real reason but that it looked interesting and name-dropped some people that generally intrigue me. It is possible I did not even crack it open to look inside, just said, ooh, pretty purple cover and went for it.

Because prooooobably if I had looked inside I would not have brought this home. See, what I thought I was getting was a look at "geek girl" culture and, per the cover, how these girls are "taking over the world." Well, I did get that, I guess, but I also got a lot of stuff I was not expecting.

The book is set up so that each chapter covers a specific style of geek girl, starting with a quiz on your knowledge of the style (spoiler: all the answers are C and the A and B answers are often ridiculous), providing a stereotypical description of such a geek girl, giving a history of awesome girls who fall into the category, naming some current "geek goddesses," describing people these geek girls shouldn't be friends with and boys whom they should date, and offering up required reading/listening/clicking/watching/etc.

The parts with the historical context and the current "goddesses" are interesting, because they give me cool people and things to look into and are, like, factual and stuff. But all the other parts were either just okay or kind of lame, and I think it's at least partially because Simon and/or her publishers don't seem to know what audience this book is for.

Is it for girls who want to find their geek clique? Well, they won't be able to tell from the quizzes, since the right answer is generally very obvious even if you haven't figured out that it's always C. Is it for girls who want to read about themselves and their chosen clique? Maybe, but when I turned to what I thought would be mine, the "Literary Geek Girl," I found out through the "character sketch" that I'm going to have to become completely immune to fashion and popular music and also go back in time to undo all that Cliffs-Notes-ing I did of really terrible books, and I'm just not willing to do that. Is it actually for boys, considering the "geek love" sections seem directed at the boys (very specifically boys, too) who want to win over a geek girl's heart?

I don't know. I wish the book had been less segmented and more about the generally geeky girl, and I wish there had been more factual stuff and less Seventeen filler, but I suppose that wasn't meant to happen here. And so I am disappointed by my own high expectations. But I give Simon props for using actual geek girls as primary sources for the book and giving me scads of new books and albums and websites and movies to procure and devour, and really any book that's going to get people interested in new things is good by me.

Recommendation: For the girl who has always wanted to be a [insert geek style here] Geek Girl but never knew where to start.

Rating: 7/10

Packing for Mars, by Mary Roach

Ah, Mary Roach. It's been awhile. How you been? Oh, you've been gallivanting around the world talking to astronauts and wannabe astronauts and chimponauts and people who pretend to be astronauts for SCIENCE? Tell me more!

And she does! There is much more than I would have guessed to tell about space, that final frontier and whatnot. Some of it I had heard before, like the bit about how a certain president was not a fan of lady astronauts, and oddly some of it I heard on a podcast referencing Packing for Mars after I had started the book but before I got to the part they referenced. That was odd.

Other bits I had not heard but made sense, and were kind of intriguing, like the whole chimps in space program and how it totally ruined the start of our space race and how at one point there was a human testing a spacesuit to see if it was humane for chimps, except that the point of the chimp wearing the spacesuit was to see if it was safe for humans. Oh, science. And the part where she goes off to Japan to visit their astronaut training camp or whatever and you find out that Japanese astronaut candidates have to fold 1000 paper cranes for luck and psychological testing. On that basis alone, I am not cut out to be an astronaut.

And, of course, in true Mary Roach fashion, there were also bits about sex in space and poop in space that I didn't know I didn't need to know until I knew them. Darn her! Suffice it to say that it is difficult to do both, and so NASA at least tries to avoid them when at all possible. Also, you shouldn't talk about your poo problems on a live microphone. For your sake AND everyone else's.

I'm wondering if my lack of love for Spook is content-based or narrator-based, because the woman who narrates this one also did Bonk and I liked the latter equally as much as this current one. I think this narrator has an excellent blend of "Wow, did you know this?" and "Wow, did you need to know this?" and sometimes, "Wow, you definitely don't need to know this but it's written down so I'm gonna have to tell you anyway," like when Roach writes about her lack of knowledge about body odor in the crotchal region, not for lack of trying ew. Sorry. I heard it, so you have to, too!

I promise most of the other fun facts in this book are actually fun, and it's about space! I really don't think you can go wrong.

Recommendation: For lovers of SCIENCE and crazy people who write about science and obscure factoids disguised as science.

Rating: 8/10

(What's in a Name Challenge)

Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
I’m in space.

The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien

Here's a true story for you: The Hobbit is the first book I ever lied about reading, way back when I was but a young Alison looking to score some Summer Reading Club points. My parents totally did not believe my lies, but they allowed said lies to stand anyway, leading to DECADES of shame and regret. Well, not really. Most of the time I forget it even happened. But I've never lied about a Summer Reading Club book since! (Summer reading in general, yes, totally.)

But now I have read it, and I can speak with authority on the subjects of Misplaced Heroism and Wizards That Are Not Very Nice. Seriously, I had no idea Gandalf was such a jerk! Blah blah blah, grand adventures, blah, self-confidence, blah, endless treasure, whatever. No means no, Gandalf!

I know I'm not the last person to read this book, so here's the plot: jerky wizard recruits homebody hobbit to go help some dwarves steal all the treasures from a talking dragon. Said gang wanders toward dragon and gets swept up in some side-quests along the way; a ring is tricked away from a creeper. The gang finally gets to the dragon and fails at stealing all the treasures until someone kills the dragon for them. There is fighting. Eventually, Homebody Hobbit returns home with a handful of treasure, which doesn't last long for an amusing reason.

So. It's a Quest Novel. I'm not always a big fan of these, and I'd have to say this one is all right, I guess. The scrapes they get into are interesting, especially when they ignore directions and go wandering in the woods, and of course I was intrigued by the Gollum aspect of things having seen the LOTR movies (I'll get around to the books someday, maybe). I was a little concerned by the GI-Joe-like refusal to let anyone die, but then everyone started dying and I was like, hey, hold on, this is going a little overboard. But it's really not a quest until someone dies, right?

Of course, the best part was that the audiobook cover had the same picture that graces my engagement puzzle (read: the puzzle my then-boyfriend and I were putting together when I completely ignored his proposal [accidentally, I swear!]), so when things got boring I could just think back on adorable times. I may be a huge sap.

The second-best part was that ears-reading the book meant that the narrator SANG to me, which was absolutely fantastic because a) I always want to know how songs in books go and b) Rob Inglis is probably a way better singer than those dwarves and goblins and whatnot. If he could have sung the whole book to me, that would have been just fine.

And even though I wasn't a huge fan of the book, I liked it enough that I am very interested in seeing the movie — I was going to watch it eventually if only for Martin Freeman, but now I might actually pay to see it, which is just ridiculous. There had better be singing!

Recommendation: You probably already know if you want to read it, but if you're on the fence you should think about how much you like quests, goblins, and riddles.

Rating: 7/10
(TBR Challenge)

Thinner, by Richard Bachman

I'm always a little confused by authors who use pseudonyms but are also like, "I am totally this person," so people will read their books. Like I've cataloged a few books that are authored by NORA ROBERTS (writing as J.D. Robb) or... someone whose name I forget where her author bio is like "This Person is the pseudonym of That Other Person." Why are we bothering with the pseudonym, then?

All this is to say that I didn't actually realize this was a Richard Bachman book until well after I started listening, because everything I looked at was all STEPHEN EFFING KING all the time. It is also to say that when people know they are reading a Stephen King book it is a little weird to hear the narrator talking about how it's like he's in a Stephen King book, but according to my friend Cory this is not an unusual thing to happen in a King novel. I don't know if that's good or bad.

Aaaaanyway the novel. I had actually thought this was a short story, because the plot — a heavy guy gets cursed to become thinner, which is cool until all of a sudden he can barely eat enough to survive — did not seem like a story that could be sustained over 10 hours(!). And indeed, there were a few parts where I was like, "Okay I get it let's move it along now?"

But on the whole the story was delightfully horror-ful. It starts with a guy, Billy, who's like, "That creepy gypsy guy was creepy. Why did he say 'THINNER' at me?" And then he's all losing weight, and you find out that the creepy gypsy guy said that because Billy ran over the gypsy's daughter who ran out into the street and so he was found not guilty of manslaughter or whatever except that then it turns out that maybe he wasn't quite so not guilty after all? And maybe the gypsy isn't only targeting him? But Billy is a lawyer, so he's gonna fight back, even if he has to drive all the way up to Maine (you knew Maine was in here somewhere, didn't you?) to find these gypsies and bitch at them. Because that's really what it boils down to.

And really, the driving up I-95 bit could have just been completely excised from the story, because I really do understand that gypsies are creepy, and also why is it that everyone is like "Man, I haven't seen a gypsy in like 25 years" and then at the EXACT SAME TIME like "Oh, gypsies. You know how they roll." Do you? Are you sure?

But the whole cursing aspect is interesting, and Billy's visits to the other afflicted-types are quite creepy, and the ending is the only possible ending I would have accepted for Billy so it's fine that it's pretty well telegraphed. Also, I knew I liked Joe Mantegna, the audiobook narrator, from his work on the teevee, but seriously that man can read a book. He did some fantastic voice work to the point where I was sometimes like, "Isn't Joe Mantegna reading this book? Who is this guy? That is Joe Mantegna? Are you sure?" I think he should probably read every Stephen King book, because he can make with the spooky and terrifying. Maybe he should do a version of The Turn of the Screw! How much would it cost to commission that?

Recommendation: On the whole, I enjoyed my ten hours with Stephen and Joe. Especially Joe. And while I think the novel should be much much shorter, I do still think it's worth a read if you're in the mood for some gruesome.

Rating: 8.5/10 (bonus points for Joe!)
(RIP Challenge, What's in a Name Challenge)

Overture to Death, by Ngaio Marsh

Ngaio Marsh and I are totally BFFs, even if she doesn't know it, largely because a bunch of her books are on OverDrive and so it is SO EASY to listen to them! After Death of a Fool, I was like, give me more! And so I found this little number, which promised music and therefore I was in.

There's not really music. Unfortunately. But there is a FANTASTIC murder device, which is a gun attached by pulleys to the soft pedal of a piano, such that when our murderee sets down to play some Rachmaninoff, she shoots herself in the face. WHAT.

I am loving Marsh's ability to murder people.

And then the story is even better — it's established in the lead-up to the murder that this woman, called Miss Campanula, and her BFF/arch-enemy Miss Prentice, are not well-liked by anyone. And it is Miss Prentice who is meant to play the overture at the play that night, except that she has been injured and while she really really means to play, no one will let her and Miss Campanula takes her place at the last minute. So, first question: who was meant to be killed that night?

There are red herrings and seeming red herrings all over the place, and pretty much everyone is like, "I wouldn't mind if both of them were dead, except I don't really mean that, or do I," and "everyone" is SO MANY PEOPLE and I suspected all of them at one point or another but only one person did it and it's sort of interesting who and how that happened.

I'm learning Marsh's tricks, so I'm not quite as awed by her mystery-weaving abilities this go-round, but trust me, she's got them.

Recommendation: If you like a whodunnit, you're gonna like this.

Rating: 8/10
(Vintage Mystery Challenge, RIP Challenge)

Death Note Vol. 8, by Tsugumi Ohba

Nrrrrrrt.

That's about the only sound I was capable of making after this book EXPLODED MY BRAIN. If you've read any of my other Death Note reviews, you're going to be like, "Yeah, yeah, I get it with the brain explosion, get a new phrase, lady." But I can't. Because my brain has exploded. Again.

Okay, so. Light's sister has been kidnapped, and the kidnappers, led by a chocolate-loving mini-L want the notebook in trade. Light comes up with a plan to not do that last part, but the kidnappers are way wily-er and they temporarily hijack a plane and take Light's dad out to the desert where they're keeping his daughter underground in some crazy revolving door trap and there's no choice but to give up the notebook and now the kidnappers are like, sweet, and go killing all the people they don't like.

But of course there's still another notebook, and a person who can see people's names to write them down in it, and so Misa is still useful and Light still hangs out with her, even if her sexy underpants do absolutely nothing for him. Poor Misa.

AND Light is working with the American special ops team headed by the other mini-L, who at first acts like he's never heard of the first mini-L and then is like, "Oh, no, I totes know him. And must defeat him."

Oh, also, there's a third Shinigami who apparently owns one of these notebooks? I don't remember this from the previous books but I remember so little that I will go ahead and believe it, and he totally messes everything up.

And then a bunch of people die, and then Light contemplates killing, like, everyone else, including Misa. Because that's what you do to the people who love you, right?

This is all very confusing, I'm sure, because the book is super confusing, and there are still like five books to go and I might suffer a mental breakdown before I finish them. But I still want to finish them. There is something very wrong with me.

Recommendation: Probably you should NEVER read this series, because you're just going to get sucked in and your brain is going to explode and you're going to think it's a good idea to keep reading them. But still, you should read them.

Rating: 7/10
(RIP Challenge)

The Turn of the Screw, by Henry James

I have never been a Henry James fan. I quickly learned to Cliffs-notes the heck out of any James I ever had to read for school rather than read any more page-long sentences than absolutely necessary. The man loves his commas. But for whatever reason (shortness, probably!), I decided to actually read this novella when it was on my freshman comp syllabus, and I remember quite enjoying it! So I figured, when I found it on audio, that it would be a delightfully spooky start to this year's RIP Challenge.

Well. Eh. I mean, yes, compared to all other Henry James I've "read," this was fantastic. But I think that memory of awesomeness set the bar a liiiiiittle high on this listen!

The story is structurally excellent. It starts with a group of people sitting around some old inn or other chatting about spooky things, and this mysterious guy is like, "Dudes, I have the spookiest story." And everyone else is like, "Do tell." And MG is like, "Well, I mean, I don't want to paraphrase, so let me send away for someone to mail me the well-worn manuscript I keep locked away in my house, it'll be here in a couple days." And everyone else is like, "'Kay."

And so the manuscript gets there, and then we're in the story proper, which is of a governess who goes off to the country to take care of a couple kids, one of whom has recently been expelled from school for some unknown reason. While she's there, she sees a creepy dude and then later a creepy lady, and she quickly ascertains/decides that these are the ghosts of some dead former employees of the estate. She also ascertains/decides that the kiddos can see these ghosts, too, and that a) the kids are keeping the ghosts a secret and b) the ghosts are influencing the kids in some creepy way. There's a lot of skulking about and people appearing and disappearing and, spoiler?, that line between ascertaining and deciding becomes important in the end.

It's a creepy little story on paper, but this audio version suffers from the same problem I had with The Eyre Affair — namely that the narrator seems to be more "reading words off a page" than "telling a ghost story." I wanted and expected hushed voices and proper ghost story pacing, and I did not get those things.

And those things would have helped a lot with the things I had forgotten about the novella, which is that it is slow as all get out at the beginning, and then ends very abruptly, and the motivations of the characters are confusing or nonexistent. As a ghost story of indeterminate origin and unreliable narrator, I can forgive these problems, but if I have to listen to it as a strict retelling of some old manuscript, I'm gonna get a little antsy about them.

I think next time I find myself remembering this story fondly, I'll grab a print copy and read it at two in the morning during a thunderstorm. Can't get better ambiance than that!

Recommendation: I can't recommend the audiobook, but I think the story is good for someone who wants a bit of a literary ghost story.

Rating: 7/10
(RIP Challenge)

Street Gang, by Michael Davis

Street Gang is a fine example of what my friend Mary would, I think, call a worthwhile audiobook — one where ears-reading is an improvement over eyes-reading. (Examples: Bossypants, things read by Michael York.)

I tried to eyes-read this book when it first came out, but got bored real quick-like and sent it back home to the library. But then I saw it on, what else, OverDrive, and I figured I'd give it another shot. I'd never heard of the narrator, Caroll Spinney, but I quickly discovered that he just so happens to be the voice of both Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch. He sounds a little Big-Bird-y in his speaking voice, and it was this wonderful cadence that helped me get through the book. Extra bonus: after the book proper is done, there's an extra hour of interview between Davis and Spinney that is, if not exciting, very interesting to listen to.

The book proper, though... eh. It purports to be the complete history of Sesame Street, but it feels more like a hodge-podge of histories — there's quite a bit about childrens's television programs prior to Sesame Street, like Captain Kangaroo and Howdy Doody, some background on the various actors eventually cast on Sesame Street, and of course rather a lot about Jim Henson, to the point where the book starts with his funeral. And all these little vignettes are just sort of tossed around in the book, so I had a bit of trouble reorienting myself with each new chapter. And I get that that's probably the point, that this sort of mixed-up narrative is reminiscent of an episode of Sesame Street, but it was hard for me to hold on to the thread most of the time.

But! For interesting conversational tidbits about children's television? This book fits the bill quite nicely. I learned how Sesame Street got its name (basically: they couldn't come up with anything better), how much intense educational and market research went into the making of even the very first episode, and how Barney almost ruined Sesame Street, if you need another reason to dislike large purple dinosaurs. And I got to hear Caroll Spinney as Big Bird and Oscar, and doing a passable Ernie and Kermit as well! I do think my tiny cousin's impression of Ernie's laugh is much better, though. I might be biased. :)

Recommendation: Definitely worth a read or listen if you've ever spent way too much time watching PBS in the afternoons.

Rating: 7/10

The Land of Oz, by L. Frank Baum

After finishing The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, which was super-interesting in a "So that's how the story is meant to go!" way, I figured it couldn't hurt to try out a completely unknown-to-me Oz story. It didn't hurt, certainly, but it was... weird.

Which, I mean, it's weird in the same ways that the first book is weird, because that's how Baum rolls, except that this time I wasn't prepared for the specific weird-ities and so was like, what?

So there's a kid called Tip, and he tries to pull a prank on his guardian, Mombi, except that the prank totally backfires and now Tip is running away to the Emerald City with a formerly-inanimate pumpkin-head scarecrow-thing called Jack. Along they way, Tip meets a girl called Jinjur who is set to overthrow the Scarecrow as bigwig of the Emerald City because, of course, all of those shiny emeralds and whatnot would be much better served as necklaces and other shiny things for Jinjur's girl army. Of course. So, Tip finds the Scarecrow and they all go running off but even though the Scarecrow is all about abdicating, Jinjur still apparently wants them dead, so she recruits Mombi to pull some hocus-pocus and trap the group. And then some appropriately Baum-weird stuff happens and it turns out that there's someone else who's meant to be leading Oz...

It's all very strange, but also very delightful, and Anna Fields is absolutely perfect in narrating this series. There's not much else to say, really! I am sad that I don't have quick access to the next few books, but considering all I've got on my plate for the near future, I think that's all right!

Recommendation: For those days when you just need something that makes you smile at its ridiculousness.

Rating: 8/10

Death of a Fool, by Ngaio Marsh

What? A new "Golden Age Girl" for my Vintage Mystery Challenge? Delightful!

I had never heard of Ngaio (pronounced "Nye-oh") Marsh, but my friend Jessica has been pushing me to read her, and in my "I have nothing to read doo doo doo" searching of OverDrive for an audiobook, I found two that fit my reading challenge. Perfection! I couldn't decide between the two, so I asked Wikipedia to tell me what they were about. It then just outright spoiled one of the books, so the other it was!

And I'm quite happy with the one I read. It's from near the middle of Marsh's bibliography, so it's got a nice established detective who does not long to be Holmes and also it is obvious that Marsh still likes her detective (I don't know if she ever doesn't; I am basing this statement on my experiences with other writers).

AND it's a locked room mystery, and I love me a good padlocked door.

Well, except that there's not actually a door. Or a lock. Which kind of makes it awesomer. What happens here is that there's one of those pagan plays, with the dancing and the running around chasing girls and all, and this same family has been doing the play forever, and they're doing it again, except this time there's some German lady who drove out for two days to see the play but the fact that she's annoying the crap out of everyone means no one wants her to go see the play, and also there's some infighting amongst the family people who are all kind of sick of each other, and there's a sort of prodigal granddaughter returning to her homeland and also being in love with someone in the play, and whatever and the play goes on and then suddenly the family Patriarch is supposed to have a line or something except he doesn't say it because he has been BEHEADED. In front of everyone, because where else would he be, except no one saw it.

And that, my friends, is intriguing. All those things from before the play come into importance when Inspector Alleyn shows up and is all omg everyone seems to have wanted this guy dead, but no one could have done it, and also the way he seems to have died is just not right and what the heck actually happened?

So it's good, is what I'm saying. I liked that there were a bunch of clues that I could figure out, and I solved what is sort of the first mystery before it was revealed, but even with just a few minutes left to go on audio I wasn't sure what the answer to the whole mystery was. And when I heard the answer, I wasn't like, what. I was like, "Ohhhhhhh, iiiiiiinteresting." Also, there is a re-enactment, and although no one has to shut up and be a corpse, it's still a fun time. I will definitely be reading more Marsh in the future.

Recommendation: Do you like classic mystery novels? Then read this.

Rating: 8.5/10
(Global Reading Challenge: Australasia, Vintage Mystery Challenge)

The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde

I have been meaning to re-read this series since, oh, the first time I read The Eyre Affair almost exactly three years ago. But I really got it into my head to do it over the summer, and by that time I had lent the first book to a good friend who is apparently bad at returning books, and I was all, fret fret fret. But then I realized — audiobooks! So I grabbed this book on audio from the library, and I can now say that it is a rather different experience.

The idea behind The Eyre Affair is actually a complex set of ideas. You have an alternate universe where Britain has been fighting the Crimean War for, you know, 130 years, no big deal, so you've got the pro-war/anti-war/pro-soldier/pro-let's-have-a-nap-instead set of issues. This alternate universe also includes time travel that is constantly re-writing history. Also vampires and werewolves. Also people who really really know you're talking about them. Also reconstituted dodos. Also many other things, and also, primarily for the book's purposes, a Special Ops unit dedicated to solving crimes against books. Which is awesome.

It's a whole big mess of everything, and so when I read it with my eyes, I necessarily imbued a Hitchhiker's/Buffy/Monty Python snark-the-day-away sort of mentality into it. And in fact, the audio book box promises these things. But what struck me within the first chapter of reading with my ears is that the narrator, despite having a fantastic voice for Thursday, does not choose to play the book that way. She is very very earnest and plays very straight off the page, and I felt like I was missing out on a lot of Fforde's wit and sarcasm.

On the plus side, I can now pronounce a lot of things from the book better than I could a week ago. Darn British people and their un-intuitive spellings.

The other thing I found interesting about re-reading this book is that I had forgotten how different the first book is from all the rest, because Fforde had really intended The Eyre Affair as a standalone. The pacing is slower (we don't even get to the Eyre part until practically the end!), there is a LOT of exposition-y stuff, and Thursday is not quite the BAMF she becomes later. And oh my goodness had I forgotten about Daisy. Let me just go jump into this book and punch her in the face.

Right, yes. On the whole I recommend the eyes-reading experience better than the ears-reading, but either way is pretty fantastic.

Recommendation: Do you like books? Mysteries? Sci-fi? Love stories? Dodos? Characters called Braxton Hicks and Jack Schitt? Fun? Go read this series.

Rating: 7.5/10 (lower than last time for the audio sadness)
(A to Z Challenge)

Whose Body?, by Dorothy Sayers

I usually make the case for reading an author's work from the beginning, because so often authors start off strong and then run out of ideas and so the first books are the best. But if I had been introduced to Sayers with Whose Body?... I would probably not ever read another Sayers again. Luckily, I didn't, and I know that things only get better from here!

My primary problem is with our amateur sleuth himself, Peter Wimsey. He is annoying and full of himself and very very eager to be Sherlock Holmes and I kind of wanted to punch him in the face more than once. This is in stark contrast to how delightful I found him in the otherwise mediocre Five Red Herrings, where he is still full of himself and eager to be Holmes, but far less annoying.

My other problem was that the writing was a bit uneven on listening. There are some weird second-person parts that seemed to come out of nowhere, and there's an extended confession at the end that make me think that I would rather not have found out whodunnit, and then some bits and pieces that are just a bit off. Maybe it comes across better in writing?

But the murder mystery itself was quite well done. This guy is found dead in a bathtub, with no obvious way for him to have gotten there except through the window (me: "Maybe it was an orangutan!"). Everyone except the dude who owns the bathtub has a good alibi, so the dude is arrested, but of course he totally didn't do it and so Wimsey, a friend of some sort, is on the case. Wimsey is all, what we need are connections, because the way to get away with things is not to have connections but there always is one and I am going to figure out what it is, and after talking with enough people he finds the connection and then the resulting motives and crime-committing are kind of gruesome. Or really gruesome. Definitely gruesome.

So, good times on the whole, but I'm going to need a really nice Sayers to make up for it. Suggestions?

Recommendation: For mystery lovers, of course!

Rating: 7/10
(Vintage Mystery Challenge)

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum

Dorothy. Toto. Witches. Wizard. Hot-air balloon. The end! Review over!

Okay, no. I'll tell you more, as I actually found this book quite intriguing. My experience with Oz is primarily Wicked, the musical, which is fantastic; Wicked, the book (and its first sequel), which is frickin' weird; and The Wizard of Oz, the movie, which I have seen all the way through maybe twice and probably not more recently than a decade ago. So as I was reading the book, I was constantly asking the husband, who has seen the movie many times, whether these things in the book were the same at all. Mostly, they were, but even the things that were the same were a little bit different!

The general story is the same, with all those words up at the top. Kansas is still super-duper grey, but no one bicycles outside the window during the tornado. Dorothy still squashes dead the Wicked Witch of the East, but no one really cares about her. The Good Witch of the North is not Glinda, and is also awesomely self-important (see her line that is something like, "The witches of the North and South are the good ones, which I know because I am one"). There's a wonderful road of yellow brick, Dorothy meets some needy fellows, Oz is like, "I'm totally all-powerful but could you maybe go kill the Wicked Witch of the West for me?" Said W³ has not only flying monkeys, but also wolves, crows, and bees, but even with all that at her command she gives Dorothy a bucket of water which ends up melting the witch. The Wizard is like, crap, and placebos the needy fellows but offers Dorothy a ride in his hot-air balloon, which Toto totally screws up. Dorothy journeys to actual-Glinda of the South for help, with the needy fellows getting offered kingships along the way, and Glinda's like, "Well, you could just use those shoes you took off of W²E and wish yourself home," and Dorothy's like, "Sweet," and does just that.

So, interesting! I think that the book version manages to make more internal sense than the movie, except for that whole bucket of water thing, but of course there is no singing in the book and that is just disappointing! So, I should probably go watch the movie again, preferably with my cute little cousin-in-law dressed up as the Tin Man, as she is wont to do.

Recommendation: For lovers of delight and those who want to complete their movie experience.

Rating: 8/10

Three Men in a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome

Yes, it's true, I only finished this because of my affection for To Say Nothing of the Dog, which steals its title from the subtitle of this book. I gave up on it for several weeks, and it took a plane trip and some work lunches to get me to actually finish it.

Which is not to say that it's bad. It's actually quite delightful. But this is definitely one of those stories that was meant for serialization, which is how it was first published way back in the day. It gets a little tedious all at once.

Three Men in a Boat is ostensibly about a up the River Thames with Jerome and two of his friends, to say nothing of Jerome's dog Montmorency, which is totally the name of my next puppy. In fact, it started out as a guide to river travel! But the river trip is less the point of the story than a vessel (see what I did there?) for Jerome to tell amusing anecdotes about fishermen lying about the fish they've caught, hitching a tow up the river with someone who lost the boat she should have been towing, cute little doggies starting giant fights, and other such tangential funtimes.

Jerome also has astute observations on life, like how to boil water: "If it sees that you are waiting for it and are anxious, it will never even sing. You have to go away and begin your meal, as if you were not going to have any tea at all. You must not even look round at it. Then you will soon hear it sputtering away, mad to be made into tea."

Or how to be lazy: "And I am careful of my work, too. Why, some of the work that I have by me now has been in my possession for years and years, and there isn’t a finger-mark on it. I take a great pride in my work; I take it down now and then and dust it. No man keeps his work in a better state of preservation than I do."

And all the writing is chuckle-ful like that, so that's good, but there's no plot and very little even connecting these anecdotes, so it's hard to stay focused. I can see what Connie Willis sees in this book, and as I read it I could where she stole things to put in her own. But I'd rather go read To Say Nothing of the Dog again!

Recommendation: Best in small doses, best read by lovers of non-sequitur humor.

Rating: 7/10

Doctor Cerberus, by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa

Okay, so, not technically a book, but it's audio theatre, and if I read a play, I'd post it, right? Ah, who cares about rationalization! There is Simon Helberg to be had!

That's really why I picked this recording up. It came down the line with Simon climbing out of his television at me, and I just knew it was meant to be. And the description, which says things about a nerdy teenager who's way too into those Saturday night horror movies... I'm not that nerd, but I love that nerd.

Also, the recording is like two hours long, since it is a play and all. You don't even have to put that much effort into listening!

So, the story: there's this nerd, Franklin, and he's way too into those Saturday night horror movies, and has a sort of crush on Doctor Cerberus, the host of said movie nights. He also has a real crush on his older brother's best friend, who happens to be the high school quarterback. He also has low self-esteem and weight issues. I'm sure you can identify with something here! Anyway, Franklin's uncle shows up to live with the family for a bit, and he turns Franklin on to the idea of being a horror story writer, and this makes Franklin's life awesome, except then his uncle goes away and his parents don't know what to do with him and it's all a dysfunctional mess. And then it gets better, as all lives tend to do.

It's an adorable little recording, and there was a lot of on-the-nose dialogue from all of the characters, all of whom you enjoy and hate at various points during the play. They're not exactly fully realized, there being only two hours of them, but certainly none of them end up exactly where they started, or even where you expect them to end up. And I like that.

Also, Simon Helberg. Come on.

Also also, I'm kind of liking this idea of plays on audio, because maybe I'll actually get around to "reading" some. And L.A. Theatre Works knows how to sell its stuff — Macbeth with James Marsters? I'm gonna need my library to go buy that right now.

Recommendation: For nerds, nerds-at-heart, people who root for nerds.

Rating: 7/10

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See

This is a book that I definitely would never have read were it not for my book club, so... good job, book club!

Why would I not have read it? Well, it sounds like one of them books for ladies, a group I tend to shy away from, with all its dust-jacket talk of "lifelong friendship" and "the joys and tragedies of motherhood." Barf! Also, it takes place in mid-ish 19th-century China, which means it's all historical and stuff, and also FOOTBINDING. Ladies, history, and a practice that makes my size-11 feet go running off in terror? No thank you!

But it was for my book club, and so I set aside my fears and read it. And I will say that even halfway through the book, I was like, eh. The footbinding bits were awful to think about, and there were a lot of very educational passages about China and the Way Things Were Back Then, and also How Ladies are Totes Worthless, Those Worthless Ladies. Yay. But then there's WAR, and running away, and trying not to die in the snow, and that was exciting, and then the lady-ful bickering began and I cracked open a beer (not really) and enjoyed the fallout.

And it was definitely this last part that turned the book around for me. I'm not a fan of the lady-ful bickering as it exists in real life, but I like what See did with it as a metaphor for the rest of the book and for 19th-century China in general. Our first-person protagonist is traditional, her bickering partner is many decades ahead of her time, and the way See made these opposing viewpoints very very obvious without having to resort to "she did this because she was so traditional and rooted in the old ways" (well, most of the time) was very nice. I could see where both parties were in the right and in the wrong, and I wanted both of them to shut up and make up, but I could see why they couldn't do it and I couldn't fault either of them for it! It's easier to make someone very obviously wrong; I liked it better See's way.

So, now that I've read this, I am much more knowledgeable about seven-centimeter feet, traditional Chinese family values, and hypocrisy. There's a lot of hypocrisy in this book. Lots. Would I read this book again? Proooobably not. But I'm glad I did read it.

Recommendation: For people who like ladies, history, and/or very tiny feet. Also people who would like to like ladies or history (tiny-foot-lover wannabes can stay home).

Rating: 7.5/10

The Disappearing Spoon, by Sam Kean

My favorite element is antimony, for the most arbitrary of reasons — Sb are the initials of both antimony and a nickname I had in high school. That's it. That's all I knew about antimony before reading this book. Now I know two important things about it: a) there used to be people who liked antimony more than I do, to the point where they were willing to dig it out of feces, and b) it's used to make the strongest known superacid. I hope you can figure out which of these I appreciate more.

If you have a favorite element, or if you want one, you should pick up this book, because it will tell you everything you never knew you wanted to know about the periodic table.

There are element-specific facts, like those about antimony, and scientist-specific facts, including long passages about Mendeleev, the Curies, and various other scientists I can't remember off the top of my head. There are also bits about alchemy, of course, and how aluminium (which is really annoying to hear over and over on the audiobook) became so amazingly devalued, and how Tycho Brahe may have had more than one fake nose, because you always need a good one for the fancy people.

And, I mean, that's the whole book, really, is facts, which is a fun time and leads to a lot of me going, "Oh! Did you know that Paul McCartney got a rhodium record for making all the music, because rhodium is apparently awesomer than platinum?" at dinners with people who liked me better five minutes ago. But there's nothing wrong with that!

Recommendation: It appeals to the science nerd and trivia nerd in me, so if you've got one of those, go for it!

Rating: 8/10
(A to Z Challenge)